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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26544343">If the world was kind, he would stay.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiamxrtin/pseuds/lydiamxrtin'>lydiamxrtin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lost Decade (Roswell New Mexico), M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:53:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26544343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiamxrtin/pseuds/lydiamxrtin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day three prompt- "I don't want you to go,"</p><p>Alex visit's Michael during a break from his deployment. Over the four days, Michael must come to terms with his and Alex's relationship and the harsh truth of their situation.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin/Alex Manes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>If the world was kind, he would stay.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Day three! So I actually really loved how this one turned out, Lost Decade Malex is just one of my favourite! Hope you guys enjoyed and see you tomorrow!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Monday</strong>
</p><p>Michael sat in his bunker, looking down at the ship fragments. Michael held up each piece seeing if it connected to the main console. Michael sighed when nothing did, placing the finale piece down on the table; when the pieces wanted to be together they just connected, but Michael had been coming up empty lately. Michael pushed himself off the chair, rolling his neck from side to side as the aching set in from staring down. Michael walked over to the ladder, climbing up.</p><p>Michael headed into the air streamer, grabbing a beer off the side, taking a sip, grimacing at its hot temperature. Michael walked over to his table, looking down at his notes. Michael sighed as he tried to make sense of his plans, Michael found his eye glancing over to the side, the box of paperwork staring up at him. Michael couldn’t help but glance over.</p><p>On the top was the photo of Michael and Alex…<em>Alex. </em>Michael dropped the photo as it had cut into his hand. It had been a few years since he’d seen Alex, they had spent about a week together last time Alex was in town, but he hadn’t returned in around three years. Michael sat down on his bed. Sometimes he thought about writing to him or calling but it was then Michael realised he wouldn’t even know where to find him, they never spoke of Alex’s work when he visited, they didn’t speak much if he was honest.  </p><p>Michael would listen to his radio every morning, making sure nothing had happened to Alex, if it had he was sure he would hear about it on there, no one would tell him because as far as the town was concerned, they barely knew each other. Michael heard a car pull up outside. He took a deep breath, preparing himself to be civil to this customer when he was no way in the mood. Michael stood up and headed out the door.</p><p>Michael stopped mid-way on the step, his legs seizing up.</p><p>From a dark car appeared Alex, carefully closing the car door, leaning against it in his uniform, a shy on his face.</p><p>“Alex,” Michael breathed, his voice sounding like a gasp.</p><p>Alex lightly pushed himself off the car, his hands shoved into his pocket, as he looked up at Michael, “Hey,” He quietly said.</p><p>Michael almost stumbled down the stairs, his steps slow. “You’re back,” He gently said.</p><p>Alex gave a small nod, looking down at the ground, “Temporarily,” He sighed.</p><p>Michael closed his eyes for a moment, for a brief second he had thought Alex was back for good, that he wouldn’t leave again. “How long?” Michael asked, coming to stop just in front of Alex.</p><p>“Till Thursday,” Alex said, stepping a little close to Michael. The pair just stood there for a moment, Michael nodded. Alex looked around the yard, clearing scoping the area out to see if anyone was around. He always did this, the lasting effect of Jesse Manes abuse.</p><p>“Sanders is away, I’m looking after the yard for a while, no one’s around” Michael assured. Alex looked back over at Michael, the small smile on his face growing a little. Michael stepped forward, carefully reaching out to lightly grab Alex’s collar, pulling him forward. Alex gave a little laugh as he was pulled towards Michael. “Wanna go inside,” Michael whispered. Alex quickly nodded, Michael smiled, looking at Alex as he stood before him. It had been three years yet Alex still looked the same, his eyes still kind, his smile still one of the few things to bring joy to Michael. Michael turned on his heels and started to walk up the trailer stairs, Alex close behind him.</p><p>It had been hours since Alex had turned up at the junkyard, Michael was sat in bed, his back leaning against the cabinet behind him. Alex rested his head on Michael’s chest, his fingers trailing across Michael’s chest, making random shapes against his skin. “You’ve been gone a while,” Michael finally said, looking down at Alex.</p><p>“I got a promotion, things have been kinda hectic," Alex explained. When ever Alex spoke of the military his voice was completely monotone, giving nothing away, "We were travelling a lot.” Alex said against Michael’s skin, keeping his head down. Alex looked up at Michael and for a split second, Michael could see some pain in Alex's eyes, the effects of talking about his job. Alex blinked and like that it was gone. Michael looked down at Alex, his hair tousled and messy, Michael reached out and ran his hand through Alex’s hair.</p><p>“Congrats,” Michael said, but there was no joy in his voice. There were several reason Michael and Alex didn’t talk about Alex’s job; it had been the main reason they had broken up 7 years ago, Michael had made it clear how he felt about the military and deep down Michael was sure Alex felt the same, not that he would admit it and finally talking about the military was a smidge too close to the subject of Jesse Manes.</p><p>“Tell me about you,” Alex said, resting his head on Michael’s chest again.</p><p>Michael moved his arms to wrap them around Alex, “Isobel got married,” He smiled.</p><p>“To Noah?” Alex said against Michael and he could practically hear Alex’s smile. “That’s great,” Alex said, looking up again to smile at Michael.</p><p>Michael didn't tell Alex how when his sister got married he wasn't thinking about her, or how happy he was for the, but Alex. How he envisioned their life together if things had been different. How he wished Alex could have been by his side. Instead of saying that, Michael leaned down and caught Alex’s lips. Alex moved his hands to cup Michael’s face as the kiss deepened, Alex pulling Michael down into the bed with him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Tuesday</strong>
</p><p>Michael leant against the side of his counter, waiting for the water to heat up. Michael looked up to see Alex sat on the edge of the bed, pulling his t-shirt over his head, leaving in in just that and boxers. Michael finished making the drinks and walked over to where Alex was sat, holding it out to him. Michael sat back down on the bed, not bothering to put his own shirt back on, the air inside the trailer warm and thick. Michael leaned back against the wall of the trailer when he noticed Alex staring down at his drink. “What?” Michael asked, sipping his coffee.</p><p>Alex turned around to look at Michael, a small on his face. “Since when do you drink herbal tea?” Alex asked, one eyebrow raised.</p><p>“I don’t,” Michael said, giving a small laugh, placing his coffee on the counter next to the bed. Alex was still looking at him confused, his eyes narrowed. “I remembered you always use to drink them when we were kids,” Michael said, reaching up and placing his hands on the back of his neck.</p><p>Alex’s smile grew a little more, “So, you bought some?” He asked, his head tilted to the side.</p><p>Michael looked down at the bed, moving his arms back into his lap. “I got them a while ago when you were coming around more often,” Michael looked back up to see Alex’s smile had fallen a little, it was no secret that over the years Alex’s visits have decreased, and his time at home shortening from months, to weeks to now a few days. “Just never threw them away,” Michael admitted. When Alex use to come around he’d always asked for these herbal teas that Michael never had, finally settling for Michael’s coffee. After his last visit, Michael had decided to buy some but then Alex didn’t return till now.</p><p>Alex leaned forward, placing a kiss on Michael’s lips. “Thank you,” He breathed inches from Michael’s face. Michael leant forward and kissed Alex again. After a moment Michael reached out and took the cup from Alex’s hand, fumbling with it till he managed to place it next to Michael’s on the counter.</p><p>“Hope you don’t mind drinking it cold,” Michael teased, smiling against Alex’s lips. Michael pulled back slightly catching the smile on Alex’s face, reaching out to pull Alex’s t-shirt off, having known when he watched him put it back on it had been a waste of time, Michael’s plans for them fo today definitely did not include clothes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Wednesday</strong>
</p><p>Michael waved the customers off, watching as their car pulled out of the yard. Michael waited till the car was completely out of sight before he walked back to the trailer. Michael pushed the door open and stepped inside, locking it behind him. Alex was sat in the bed, his back leaning against the wall as he read a book he’d clearly grabbed from Michael’s shelf.</p><p>Alex was crossed-legged on the bed, one of Michael's sweaters on and his jeans, “You’re dressed,” Michael frowned, coming over to the bed to plop himself next to Alex, pulling his legs up to lie them across Alex’s lap, gaining a playful glare from Alex.</p><p>“It was getting cold,” Alex said, putting the book on the bed.</p><p>“That’s what the blanket is for,” Michael joked, smirking at Alex.</p><p>Alex gave a small laugh, his hands resting on Michael’s legs, “So, I was just meant to wait here for you, naked?” Alex teased.</p><p>Michael nodded, “That was the plan yeah,” Michael said, reaching out to grab one of Alex’s hands, entwining their fingers together. Even though Michael tried not to think about it and tried to push it to the dark corners of his mind he knew tomorrow was their last night together. Michael smoothed his fingers over Alex’s hands, wanting to remember every detail, the dark thought circling his mind that he didn’t know when he’d see Alex again.</p><p>He looked up at Alex to see him still smiling at him, shaking his head a little before biting his lip a little. “You’re ridiculous,” He laughed. And Michael committed to memory the way the corner of his eyes wrinkled as he laughed.</p><p>“In a good way I hope,” Michael said, raising his eyebrow. Michael leaned forward to try and read the title of the book Alex had. “What were you reading?” Michael asked.</p><p>“Engineering,” Alex said, glancing down at the book before looking back at Michael. “You’ve got lots of notes in here, you building something?” Alex said with a smile, reaching over to flick through the book.</p><p>Michael swallowed, giving a little shake of his head. “Just cars,” Alex looked over at Michael, their eyes meeting for a moment.</p><p>It was almost like Alex knew he was lying, and maybe he did. Michael was never good at lying to Alex, it feeling fundamentality wrong in his bones. There had been a few instances in their relationship where Michael had wanted to tell Alex the truth about who he was; Their first fight, when Alex had told him he was leaving, the first time Alex had returned and right now. Maybe if Alex knew, he wouldn’t leave, he’d forgive Michael for all that had happened between them.</p><p>Michael just smiled at Alex leaning his head back against the counter closing his eyes. He felt as Alex smoothed his own fingers over Michael’s hand. Alex let go of Michael's hand, and Michael felt as the bed dipped and moved as Alex pulled himself next to Michael, leaning his head on his shoulder. Michael leaned down and kissed the top of Alex's head. "What you wanna do?" Michael asked, pretty sure he knew what Alex would say. </p><p>Alex reached out and took Michael's hand, entwining their fingers, "Can we just..." Alex trailed off, exhaling a deep breath, "Can we just sit here for a bit," Alex quietly said. Alex always had a day like this when he came, normally towards the end when he realised that he'd have to leave, have to go back to war. He never told Michael, but he didn't need to.</p><p>"Of course," Michael breathed, leaning his head against Alex's as the pair drifted off to sleep wrapped up in each other.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Thursday</strong>
</p><p>The air streamer was dark, the only light being from the moonlight outside that beamed in through the blinds.</p><p>Michael watched as Alex slept next to him, the pair facing each other. Alex had both his hands resting on the pillow next to his head. Michael reached out and interweaved their fingers together. It must have been around 2am, they had spent the day in Michael’s trailer, forgetting about the world outside. But the world outside was slowly creeping up to the pair, almost as if it was knocking on the door reminding Michael that Alex had to leave tomorrow.</p><p>Michael wasn’t sure what time; he and Alex never spoke about that. 3 Years Alex had been gone, 1095 days without seeing or touching him. To make up for it they’d had 4 days together, 96 hours.</p><p>The worse part, the part that kept Michael awake now, was he didn’t know when he’d see Alex again. Maybe Alex would only be gone for a year, maybe it would be three again, then the worst thought entered Michael’s mind, the same thought that always came into his mind when Alex left; maybe this time he wouldn’t come back.</p><p>It was the harsh bitter reality of their relationship and Alex's job; he wasn't leaving to make music or to work in an office, he was at war. Michael peeled his hands from Alex’s, caressing his cheek, looking at every line, every detail.</p><p>“I don’t want you to go,” Michael quietly admitted, his voice breaking at the end. He knew Alex couldn’t hear; it was better this way. He couldn’t face telling Alex when he was awake, having to watch as Alex’s face became veiled in heartbreak, both knowing that Alex had no choice. "I want you to stay," Michael whispered, he couldn't bear telling Alex that in the daylight and having to hear him say no, so instead he whispered it in the dark. Michael brushed a piece of hair out of Alex's face, “but I know you’ve got to,” Michael quietly said, stroking Alex’s cheek before moving his hand down to gently brush his fingers over Alex’s lips.</p><p>Finally, Michael moved his hand back to Alex’s hands, taking one of them and bringing it to his lips, placing a light kiss on them. “Just please come back,” Michael pleaded. Michael watched as Alex’s face didn’t change, his chest rising and falling slowly; completely at peace. Michael placed a finale kiss to Alex’s hands before wrapping his fingers in Alex’s, closing his eyes trying to remember how it felt to sleep next to Alex.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Friday</strong>
</p><p>Michael rolled over in the bed, his arm going to reach for the body next to him but finding his hand just fell hard against the empty space. Michael slowly blinked his eyes open. The space next to him was empty, a small dent in the pillow being the only evidence that someone had once been there.</p><p>Michael pushed himself up on the bed, running his hand through his hair. The warm air of the streamer seemed colder today. Michael reached down to the ground to grab his grey sweater, his hand hit the bare floor. Michael looked over the edge to see the jumper was gone from where he’d left it last time. It was then Michael realised Alex's clothes were also gone. Michael looked around the streamer trying to find any evidence that Alex was still there, it was then he noticed a small piece of paper tacked to the door. Michael slipped from the bed, walking over and grabbing the note before slipping back into the bed, the sheets gathered around his hips. Michael held the note out in front of him;</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Borrowed your sweater, it was cold hope that’s okay.</p>
  <p>I’ll give it back next time I’m home</p>
  <p>- AM</p>
</blockquote><p>Michael tightened his grip on the piece of paper a little more; <em>Alex had gone. </em>Alex never said goodbye when he left. Always leaving in the night or before Michael woke. Michael could never work out if he was thankful or not; part of him wanted to be able to say goodbye, the kiss Alex one more time before he left, but another part wasn’t sure he could. Michael was almost certain if he had to watch Alex walk away, he wouldn’t be able to bear it without telling Alex everything he felt.</p><p>Michael went to put the piece of paper on the counter when he noticed something written on the back. Michael flicked it over.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>I’ll be back, I promise</p>
</blockquote><p>Michael swallowed, biting the side of his cheek. <em>Had Alex heard him? </em>Michael was sure Alex had been asleep, but maybe he wasn't? Michael wasn’t sure and was certain he would never find out. Alex never promised to come back, his job meant he was never sure if he would, but yet <em>today he had. </em>Michael wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that because Alex had written it down it had to be true, but Michael knew better, Michael knew how cruel the world was.</p><p>Michael got up from the bed and walked over to the side where his box of paperwork was. The photo of the boys still looking up at him. Michael lightly placed the note on top of the picture, his finger brushing over it one last time before he placed the box under his bed.</p><p>Michael grabbed a dirtied t-shirt and jeans and headed out of the streamer. Alex’s car was gone, any trace of him having been in the yard or streamer completely wiped clear. Michael looked around before moving the streamer with his powers. Michael strolled over to the hatch that was now revealed, heading down the ladder to the bunker. Michael came to a stop in front of the console and the broken pieces, taking a seat as he looked down at them. <em>Maybe the pieces were ready to be together today.</em></p>
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